Caring for an aging parent is hard enough on its own. But when siblings don’t see eye-to-eye on what’s best, it adds a whole new layer of stress. One wants Mom to stay at home. Another thinks she needs assisted living now. A third doesn’t want to be involved at all. Sound familiar?

You’re not alone—and this situation is more common than you think. The good news? There are ways to get everyone on the same page (or at least moving in the same direction). Here’s how to navigate the emotional minefield of family disagreement and still do what’s best for Mom.

Start with a Family Meeting (Before Things Get Worse)

Don’t wait until a medical crisis forces quick decisions. Proactively set up a calm, structured family meeting—ideally in person or on a group video call. Make it clear the goal isn’t to win or argue, but to figure out what’s best for your parent together. Keep it focused, and don’t let old childhood roles or resentments take over.

Listen to Understand, Not Just to Respond

Each sibling may be bringing their own fears, guilt, or past experiences into the conversation. Some might be in denial about how much help Mom actually needs. Others might be burned out from being the primary caregiver. Make space for everyone to be heard before jumping to solutions. This can defuse tension and build trust.

Focus on What Mom Wants—and Needs

It’s easy to get caught up in what you think is right. But remember, it’s not about you. It’s about what’s safest, healthiest, and most comfortable for your parent. If your parent is mentally capable, include them in the conversation. If not, consider what they would want based on their personality, past preferences, or advance directives.

Bring in a Neutral Third Party

Sometimes, it’s best to step out of the emotion and let a professional guide the way. A senior living advisor (like us) can provide unbiased insight into your parent’s needs and help families explore options without pressure. A doctor, social worker, or care manager can also weigh in on whether staying at home is still safe or if assisted living might be necessary.

Divide Responsibilities According to Strengths

Not everyone will contribute equally—and that’s okay. One sibling might live nearby and handle appointments. Another might be better with finances or legal paperwork. Instead of forcing everyone into the same role, play to each person’s strengths and availability. That can help ease resentment and build a more balanced support system.

Agree to Revisit the Plan

What works now might not work in six months. Commit to checking in regularly as your parent’s needs evolve. This keeps communication open and prevents future blow-ups. If you can’t agree on a decision today, agree on when you’ll revisit it—and what you’ll each do in the meantime.

In Conclusion

Disagreements among siblings are normal. But if handled with patience and respect, they don’t have to derail your parent’s care. Remember: you’re all on the same team—even if it doesn’t always feel like it. And if you need help mediating the conversation or finding the right next step, that’s exactly what we’re here for.

Need a neutral guide to help your family explore options for Mom or Dad? Contact us today.

Jennifer Carter, Founder of Star Light Senior Advisors

www.starlightsenioradvisors.com